Extracting Live out of a Lifeless World

2006-08-12T21:53:00.000+08:00

Things have changed so much since i started blogging. From a down and out NSF to a student in NUS to an Instructor in outdoor camps while studying to life in Sheares Hall to a coach and trainer in AKLTG. This blogpage has captured so much on my last 3 years. My happiness, my tears, my laughter, my crappiness and my friends.

Throughout the posts, i have received words of encouragement from so many people viewing it. The first person would most prob be Qiuxia who supported me through the tough last few months in Sheares. Then would be winnie who quietly put in encouraging words. Sook May may be far away but her words will always make me feel better. Of course not to forget little sister Cheryl. During my toughest time in my career, you've gave me so much support! You said that i was the one that made you change drastically. I would want to say that you are the one that made me gritted my teeth and hang on and now i have slightly pulled through.

Memories are written here but carved in my head. This is my past. It is time to move on. Every entry here is like a page in my life. Every word i wrote here has left its footprint which will never be washed off. It is never easy to stop writing and end this page but i must. Life is just like books. Sometimes it would be nice to end a volume and proceed to the next. By ending this volume, i would love for it to be buried 8 feet underground for 1000 years waiting to be discovered many generations later.

With this , i thank all my faithful readers and this is my last post on this blog.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-07-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! my lappie is back in service. Sent it for servicing this afternoon. Made a wasted trip to funan only to find out tat they do not have the spare parts there. Have to make my way to Henderson instead. hmpf.

Things are going relatively well recently after all the downs in the past few weeks. I have started teaching in SKLC. Numbers are rising and i am getting relatively good response from parents and students. Testing out different styles now.

Wat an irony. Just as i have decided stop being a musicman after the east spring camp last week, i am assigned to be musicman for the next 2 days for AKLTG's teacher's training. Fate. Perhaps i have a musicman life.

What have i done in the last few weeks? Rulang Pri camp , Punggol Sec camp, East Spring Sec Camp, Clementi Pri workshop, SKLC training, Studying my PSLE math, Slimming down ( i think so)....and many more

hmm...learning new language soon....hopefully will pick up french and refresh on my jap.

Upgrade Upgrade Upgrade!!

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-07-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

What makes a good teacher? I really wonder. I have seen teachers who gave up on their students. I have seen teacher who are at wits end with their students. I have seen teachers who gave their students their best. I am not sure what kind of teacher am i. Guess, let the students decide.

Was on msn yesterday and i just saw lena's msn offline. It just occured to me that lena will never be online anymore. Feels damn weird tat i still lena's nick on my msn.

Cheryl: maybe one day we shd really go guanyin temple together. Love u too sister!!

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-07-01T13:49:00.000+08:00

What happened in the last few weeks?

1) IAG advance 1
2) IAG advance 2
3) Huayi NT camp

Advance was a very different experience from basic camp. I have learnt alot from advance camp. Tats about it for advance..let it be in my memories...hehe

Huayi NT camp. The first time i am training. I trained the outdoors and pareto and note making and 30 words and 8 principles of memory. WOOHOO...damn shiok .

I think my life is like a roller coaster. As i felt that my life is going down again, my life picked up almost immediately, just like a roller coaster. Lets not think too far. One step at a time. Hohoho

The last few weeks have been bz. I am glad i am bz. Got work means more progress and thats good.

At least things got clearer in the last few weeks already. Meetings about my future, clarification about my prospects. The direction is much clearer already.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-06-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

I am a story teller!!

Everytime we go to school and conduct training we share with the students techniques but more importantly we share stories tat we collected every day. These are stories that so many people out there will not get to hear. Aren't we story tellers? Hohoho

Yesterday's coffee session at starbucks tampines was quite pleasant. I was quite surprised when i saw Mary there. It has been years since we last met. She slimed down quite alot. Looks quite good and happy too.

Bartley sec closing ceremony last friday was quite good. We got a "scare" when there were no parents scheduled to attend. Even till 30 minutes before the closing ceremony starts, we are expecting only 1 parent. Kind of sad rite? In the end, 8 parents arrived. The closing ceremony was not considered emotional ...but more of a HIGH and Class spirit thingy.

We did "Y MUST YOU SUCCEED" at bartley. I think tat segment really shocked everyone. I was quite guai lan to some participants in that segment. This is one segment i really hate to do but sometimes we just have to be cruel to do it. A last resort before the program ends to draw the fighting spirit of the student out. I guessed it worked. haha...cheers!!

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-06-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Lena!! Even when you are not around, you have actually made a very big difference. Today i shared with the students the story of how well liked you are and there were so many ppl at your wake. I asked them this question. What do they want to see at their wake? A wake that everyone say that it is a waste that they die or do they want people to say that they deserve to die? Your story actually moved them. I know these kids are smart to understand what message am i embedding in the story.

I thought i would not shed a tear but as i was sharing your story, i shed my first tear since knowing about the news last week. I thought i was a robot. Today i know tat i am still human after all. So happy. You will always be in my heart.

I guess i am too tired going to schools and schools and schools....meeting people after people after people. I may not speak alot in school programmes but i know what i say will affect those listening. Too tired seeing all those sad stories of students in every school i have gone to.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-06-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

I never thought life could be this fragile. Everyday we talk about death in our work but no matter how much we talk about it, i guess we will never be prepared for it.

Actually wanted to blog happy things for Superkids camp and St Nicholas Girls School Camp but i shall dedicate this post to LENA.

The day Lena passed away, i was in her alma mater , St Nicholas Girls School conducting workshop for her juniors. What an irony. To think that such a nice person could possibly leave us is a shock. Lena is one of the nicest and unassuming lady i have met in my short 1 year in Sheares Hall. She would help me in getting inducted into the hall by inviting me for the activities. I actually attended alot of those activities becos of her ....give her face. I still cannot accept tat i have lost such a nice friend.

I still remember the days we would joke in hall. The day i took pics for her. The day we took pics in the dinner and dance, the days we played badminton, the buaya week, the dance performance, the block head....everything.

To LENA: You shall always be in my heart and may you have a safe trip to paradise.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-05-27T18:35:00.000+08:00

What's with the power of goal? I guess goals drive a person. It has been a few months after POE ended. What are the certain goals i have ? Hmm...anyway...things have been going well in the last few weeks. Action was taken and things improved.

Let me recap what i have done in the last few weeks.

1) Normal Office work.
2) Chongzheng Pri Superkids x 2
3) Xing Hua Pri 1 day camp
4) Prepare syllabus for physics
5) Going through the ATM system for PSLE maths.
6) Making arrangements to pay my study loans.
7) Attended Siyun n Chung Khang's wedding.
8) Went Bangkok for a trip with the gang.

Bangkok was fun BUT shop too much already ....leg pain. Chongzheng Pri was the first time in my life as a musicman that i scold students but i guessed it worked. heehee. XingHua Pri i did not involved myself much with the planning as i've got other things to attend to. ATM maths is interesting...lets see how it work. The rest of the things i am lazy to say ...hohoho

So wats up next?

Public camps started today. 1 year ago i started coaching with akltg. Times fly. Looking at my schedule for the next 2 months, i am fully packed. AND this means everyday work except for 3 days. But i should be grateful. It is a move ahead. I need to move ahead every day .

As things got busier, i seem to have slowed down on my personal advancement. Have not been doing much enrichment in the last 2 weeks. Must start liao.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-05-03T23:36:00.001+08:00

OMG!!! Those who know NLP...go check out the comment on my previous post. Whoever left that comment is good. Language Pattern all the way. Hahaaha....but too bad, i dont need that college cert that you are selling becos we ALL agree tat i have a certification higher that you can offer. In fact, i am NOT looking at a college cert. Anyway...thanks for the comment cos i have indeed learnt alot from ur simple post.

Okie...back to my main topic for today. Went office for a meeting and i guess things are starting to move already. Cant disclose much now but i am satisfied with it. Went to akltg subsidary, Superkids Learning Centre to take a look today. Quite a nice place. Will be working there soon. I really want to use this oppurtunity to prove my ability. If i cannot even do better than the old man, i think i can forget about this job liao.

How many of you remember seeing those uncle or aunties collecting drink cans in coffee shops? I saw a man in his 40's scavenging for metal cans from rubbish bin just now and i ask myself, must he do that to survive? I asked myself again, what's wrong with collection used cans to earn some money? Yet i reflected again. IF he is happy with it, why not? At least he is making a decent living. I asked myself again. Isnt it pitiful for them to do all these things at this age. Where are their children? Whats happening in their family ? I really wonder. By looking at them, i questioned myself. Why am i so stressed up and unhappy over what i am doing now when a man like him actually do whatever it takes to survive.

I discovered this. It is this thing called EXPECTATION. The more knowledge we posses, the more we feel that we are worth and the higher our EXPECTATION will be. EXPECTATION is a double edged sword. On one hand, it pushes you to work harder. On the other, i builds up more stress. The higher our expectations, the higher our stress level isnt it? Students have told me before that they do not want to set their goals becos they feel better by not having one. This is becos they would not expect that much and anything better than their low expectation is a bonus and it makes them happy. Why not? If it makes you happy, i would say go ahead because you might be more successful in your own sense than many other people.

I realise that i have this EXPECTATION. This would not exist if i did not recognise my own ability. This would not exist if i do not have a degree in my academic education. Perhaps i am the one that brought myself this stress. Without all this abilities, i might just go for something easier. To the end of it, i have to take responsibility for it. I made the choice in the past and choices have consequences. How should i take it? I am not sure. I can only take it in STRIDE, isnt it?

Tomorrow is the public camp coaches goal audit session and all the Programme Directors for the camps will me making presentations on skills on an array of topics. This would include me too. I am looking forward to the presentation tomorrow. I think i will ask rossie to let me be the first to do it. Lets see how it goes.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-05-03T23:36:00.000+08:00

2006-04-29T03:20:00.000+08:00

Today is POE grad nite...below are the pic. Actually didnt intend to wear a suit cos i dont have one. But when i was at the training room, it was very cold. So i went to "borrow" gerald's suit and it looks quite nice on me...bwahahha...wore it.

Met YNPS ppl after the grad nite for a short supper gathering. Quite shiok. Long since i relac that way liao..haha...i think i talk alot tonite. Very crappy tonite. Okie..dont talk tonite liao ..time to rest..

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-29T03:18:00.000+08:00

Nicest pic but blurred...sianz 1/2

2006-04-29T03:17:00.000+08:00

Me and me BrOKE BACK MOUNTAINEERING

2006-04-29T03:16:00.001+08:00

Pete and Me...

2006-04-29T03:16:00.000+08:00

Nice pic rite?

2006-04-29T03:15:00.002+08:00

Empowering with my eyes closed

2006-04-29T03:15:00.001+08:00

Jeff blur cock face

2006-04-29T03:15:00.000+08:00

Me and Shalica...

2006-04-29T03:14:00.000+08:00

how come got 2 shades one?

2006-04-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

Achievement. Just finished reading the book " It is not about the bikes" , autobiography of Lance Armstrong. Great book. Recommend to all.

Below are the pictures of AKLTG staff retreat on monday. We went to play Tag Paintball. The boss call it the Tag PAIN ball. Cos everyone that went got hit by the bullets. Trust me, you do not want to be hit by the bullet cos it is PAIN. I am the only one tat did not suffer any injuries that day. However i got the worst treatment. Some Chio BU from red bull come and give us a can of red bull each to drink before the game. After the first game, i actually vomitted inside the toilet cubicle. LEARNING EXPERIENCE: Never drink red bull before a strenuous game and never drink if the drink if a chio bu offer you.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOOD....i look good

2006-04-26T22:44:00.001+08:00

Terrorist rulez

2006-04-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

act cute....limpeh damn shag loo

2006-04-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

Team 1 and Team 2...how come got little boy one?

2006-04-26T22:42:00.000+08:00

guys like to use their FINGER

2006-04-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

akltg tag paintball team.....terrorist at the back

2006-04-26T22:40:00.001+08:00

wayne flex muscles...danny admiring

2006-04-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Siao ar

2006-04-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

OMG!! I slept a total of 18 hours yesterday. Wasnt sure why i was so tired. Konked off once i reach home from East View Booster. Weird....long since i last slept that much already.
Went to TM for a walk last nite and i bought another biography from Times. This is about this cyclist called Lance Armstrong. He contracted prostate cancer....also known as cancer of the BALLS. How he managed to overcome cancer and win the Tour De France for a record 7 Times. There was this question Lance ask himself when he was undergoing Chemotheraphy. Which is stronger, pain or hope? Imagine the pain he was going through. He has been going through pain all his life as a cyclist. This pain is nothing to him. He does not fear death. What kept him fighting is the hope that one day he will recover to challenge the Tour De France again which he has yet to complete the full tour when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I asked 4 people the same question and they told me pain is stronger. Hmm...i wonder. I am starting to have an alternative view. I will finish the book in the next 2 days.

Was walking around TM today in search of a new hp but upon seeing the long Q in front of M1 shop...i decided to give it a miss. I hate queuing. Haha..

cheryl: Hey sis, thanks for the testi. Rest assured tat i will tell you when i am down. Sometimes i just dowan to blog those not so happy things cos i know u are reading it and i dowan you to be worried cos ur exams are coming liao . I will do my best to think for positively one. I kow that you are there for me. Thanks for putting me in your first place.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-20T19:26:00.000+08:00

Found the head laio ...cute hor

2006-04-20T19:25:00.001+08:00

Wheres the head?

2006-04-20T19:25:00.000+08:00

Taken during POE...wats tat?

2006-04-18T00:57:00.000+08:00

I have a game. I hope it will be used in Advance camp. It is called DUA BEH LONG. Super Fun Game. Something like catching , not really catching. Something like rugby, Not really rugby. Something like touch rugby, Not really Touch Rugby. Just play and you will know.

Watched the film 8 Below moments ago. Cool Show. Huskies are soooo CUTE...hahahaha

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-17T00:24:00.000+08:00

As is sat in the cold training room 1, I ask myself why am i there? I am not supposed to be there in the first place? Why did i choose to be there? I could have stayed at home. At times i felt "EXTRA". Yet i ask myself again, why did i choose to be there? It is the people. Those people pulled my up when i was down. They gave me hope. They gave me refuge.

I remember my first ever coach training. I remember the night we ended the coach training. I remember the people that attended it with me. Today it is a very different feeling sitting behind and observe. This feeling of being so detached from coaches. Is it part of the process of being a trainer? The more public camps i've coached, the more detached i feel towards the coaches...especially the new coaches. This should not be.

I am starting to see myself in the public camp as a PD in SK1 already. I am starting to visualise the first moment i meet the students and i start to talk to them to get them to draw the posters already . What i need to do now is to plan out my speech ...what and how i am going to say it. Another chance to practice. It will be another challenge and risk. Stay tuned for it.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-16T11:54:00.000+08:00

Life is really so dangerous out there. I am have been sleeping for so long and when i finally rose from the long peaceful sleep. It gives other people a sense of fear. I have been dumb for ages and when i speak up, it creates aftershocks. I have been mained for decades and when i start to use other of my arms to walk, it creates a sense of encroachment on other people.

It is rather amazing to see how friends could doubt each other the moment they are out there working. The arisen dragon definitely creates fear but this dragon is fighting for its own survival. This dragon does not need to seek power cos this dragon is powerful within itself. Furthermore what power is there available to be seek?

I understand that because i started to take action has create repercussions. Some people may feel inadequate because there is a new challenge. However notice this. I dont start at an even foot. I dont have people taking care of my growth. I dont have resources coming to me. If i still dont take action to ask for oppurtunities, there is no way i can grow. You can be comfortable at where you are, i cannot. Any time i may lose what i have now. The only way to ensure that i do not lose it is to move forward.

Lucky? I do not use luck to compare because i acknowledge that LUCK is not my best friend since the day i was born. Other people are Lucky, that is their problem, not mine. I believe in this thing called HARDWORK. I am not smart and mentally agile as compared to many other people but i am more hardworking. Little did people know tat i only sleep 3-4 hours a day on the build up to my A levels just for the sake of catching up with my work.

I am a FIghter, when i see someone who is not extraordinary do it, i ask myself why could i now? I am sorry....if you are looking for a peacelover in your team, one who is comfortable in his own place and will not even give you any sense of danger, tats not me. I will be a big challenger and i will challenge each and everyone out there . This way everyone can improve.

I do not demand for power that should have been mine. I request for oppurtunities for me to progress. I am been like a kukubird for too long already. Far too long. I kept quiet waiting and waiting and waiting. It is time i speak up for what i want.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-04-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

groupie 2

2006-04-10T00:21:00.001+08:00

me again...beauty (me) and the beasts ( them)..hehee

2006-04-10T00:21:00.000+08:00

abit itchy mah

2006-04-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

groupie 1

2006-04-10T00:20:00.000+08:00

punggol sec 1

2006-04-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

I am not having self doubts anymore. Great. Someone told me that i must create my own path. Agreed. I am doing so now. I have one more month to do so. I am not sure what is going to happen after that 1 month. Perhaps my life will change after that one month. Perhaps i might not be where i am now but i know one thing. I did what i could.

What could i do? Am i focusing on the wrong things? Maybe i am. But i am also focusing on what i had been since the day i joined this place. That was my original goal and i dont think i am losing focus of it. However time is not on my side. If there are no plans for me to move on my goal at the beginning, perhaps i should move on.

Last 9 months i have really learnt alot from this place. Perhaps it is time to move on from here. Have been contemplating going into teaching again since what i am doing now might not work out. Perhaps i can contribute more by going into teaching.

dont feel like saying anything liao

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

look at my nice cap

2006-03-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

even more cool

2006-03-28T00:30:00.001+08:00

super cool

2006-03-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

jeff no teeth one

2006-03-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

another whoosh 18 pic

2006-03-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

another pic of whoosh 18

2006-03-28T00:24:00.001+08:00

Whoosh 18 on the last day

2006-03-28T00:24:00.000+08:00

Macho Choo ...Coming down from the High Beam...no Sweat

2006-03-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

Swinging LOg....FOCUSSS

2006-03-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

POE has ended. It was indeed a very interesting experience. I have resolved quite a fair bit of what lies in my head. Some things are really amazing. I always thought i want to be a trainer becos it can help kids and have fun. But little did i know that my subconscious mind actually wants me to be happy and satisfied for myself tats why i want to be a trainer. This was really an empowering experience.

The last 5 days was really tough. 9am-3am on average is amazing and yet I can stay awake most of the time. I believe i have broken through. My symbol changed from a mask to a dove and now it actually became a dragon. POWER!!

Cheryl: Solli dear!! Cannot reply ur msg cos i was called in for a segment then. heehee....got time then we chat more...u study hard wor

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-23T04:07:00.000+08:00

This blogging session starts at 4.06am and WTH am i doing here? I should be sleeping, shouln't it because more i blog the sleepier i becomes. The reason i am blogging here only means that i want to increase my english capability and what would be better by blogging more? As i sat in front of my computer, i start to notice that the computer is asking me to write more and which each word i write , i move one step closer to my goal of improving my english proficiency. Isn't that exciting and i can feel the exhilaration inside making me even more motivated. All the cells in my brain must be active now. Wouldn't it be great as i start writing now and now and this simply shows that Learning English is easy and interesting.

Haha...by the time you are reading here, all of you would have noticed that i have used a whole list of milton model statements in the above mentioned paragraph wouldn't you? The fact that you are still reading shows that you are someone close to me and every word that you read only makes you feel even closer to me. In fact, this is so heartwarming because you know that this is what we call love. I overheard Weff telling Kiral that Mickey said that Love is a contradiction and You know as well as i do that LOVE is a huge word which flew out of the heart to ask us to embrace it. It is a word where one loves to hate and hates to love. It is a noun and it can be a verb. It is pleasure and it is sorrow. It is sweet and it is sour. It is gentle and it is rough. BUT you know that you want it as much as i do, don't you?

Okie okie....all the above are supposed part of milton model. If you understand it good. If you don't, it is alright cos it doesnt matter. What matters is still the heart. From here on i shall not consciously use milton model anymore...but if it appears , it is unconscious writing.

Today marks the start of POE module 2. It is another 5 days of intense learning , mastery and self discovery. Topic of the day: Language patterns. It was fun. I was behaving like a real participant. Running around with my group from stations to stations to answer questions and collecting signatures from the coaches. It was experiential . We get to test out all the skills we have learnt tonight. The winning group wins 250 bucks from the pool of money collected from each participant. Nearly won it. Never mind. Change strategies next time round.

Everyone will stay healthy and this allows us to live life with great enthusiasm or excitment, don't we?

The blogging stops at 4.32 AM . Time to go and sleep. Nitez

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

Today shall say a few words...." A FEW WORDS" ...okie ...just feel like being lame...anyway...

Yesterday was not a good day...sisters all got prob...

Cheryl! U get well soon.
Sylvia! U get well too.
Yunxuan! Be strong...gor will be there for you.

Yeah...short and simple
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

Me No GOD....cannot save the whole world.

Had been coughing for the whole of last week in the superkids public camp. First time in my life i cough tat much. Felt like dying. Got a bunch of kids in my group. Interesting group of kids. Very fun too. I guess playing with kids is fun. Even though i am just a coach in this camp, i still managed to play with alot of the kids.

As i was coughing thru the camp, i never intended to do cohort level entertainment and control in the camp. However as i was using the loudhailer to get the kids ready for swinging log warm up, stuart came from behind and ask me to conduct and he will observe. I was like....errr....okie lor. I went up onto the platform and controlling my voice. I was TRYING not to be my normal style and test out the lower volume way. FAILED Badly...couldn't get the attention of the kids. Stuart have to step in to help me get their attention. After that he gave me some pointers.

The next day, i was still coughing my lungs out and stuart came to me and told me that i will conduct the warm up again. He will observe. My mind was telling me that " OH SHIT!! I am still coughing. I cannot. Wat if i give instructions halfway and i coughed?". But i didnt tell him . I just said:" Okie"....but this time round i took precautions. I briefed all the coaches on my expectations and what to do during that segment. And i just concentrated on the warm up. It came out very well. I managed to get control and get them to do their warm ups while entertaining them . Job Well done!!! I just be myself and things work for me. Zhiqin told danny who was also observing that he fell that he saw the trainer's style in me when i was doing the training. Haha...

Donno why , this seems to be the camp that i am most detached with the coaching team. Perhaps is becos i am too concern with coughing already. I do not feel bonded to the team except for a few. Thats why when they started appreciation i wasnt tat touched or wat. But i kept my mouth shut knowing fully well that everyone have their right to feel a certain way.

My group was weird. I do not really need to control them or scold them one. When i give instructions they will listen. Nice kids. Imagine first day i can et them auto run to a certain extent already. Every morning they will sit there and wait for me to do revision with them. And they keep to the promise to me that they will go onto the swining log on the third day. In one session 5 out of 6 of them competed the log. This is also the first group i have coached that nobody went on stage to appreciate their parents. But i know they love their parents cos i saw some of them running to their parents to cry during the interval. Interesting.

Have been staying at home as often as i can these few days. Lets not talk about work tonite. We talk about fun. Went around Suntec area yesterday. Music Festival , Food Fare....time to see that there are things outside ak. Yeah...

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-09T22:32:00.000+08:00

I think i am going to cough my lungs out and tear my throat away already. Argh...
Today was at Crescent Girls School. I would suggest that the school build more male toilets. Imagine 6 males staff of akltg queuing outside the male toilet. Pengz

I am so proud of myself....i have completed reading half of Richard Branson's autobiography. He is quite a risk taker. SIAO man!!!

shall not talk more....throat pain...cannot type...hehe

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-03-05T12:26:00.000+08:00

Interesting things happen these few days. First it was the NYP Tammy incident. Damnz...my comp somehow cannot view the clip...haha. Then ....today there was this article in the papers about the banning of coloured lingerie in schools. Now this is interesting. Kind of cool. Fantasies?? Bwahhaha...Especially the part where the girls have their coloured brasserie confiscated and have to go on with lessons without any. Wah!! horny liao. How come there are no such rules during my times? Wah...if have then sure got alot of farnie things happen one. Still remember there was this day in sec 4 where one of my classmate fought with another girl during a netball game. All the boys in my class just watch show. They fought till the t-shirt came out and a black bra we saw. Imagine if her bra was confiscated in the morning and then the fight. That must be damn embarassing for her but damn shiok for us. Haha...cant blame me....i was a young boy once mah!!! heeheee

I guess it is not easy to walk the talk. Humans are humans after all. speechless...a.k.a...BO WEI GONG.

coughing for 2 weeks already...really play too much with kukubird liao ....kana bird flu liao lah...chirp chirp chirp.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-02-25T01:59:00.000+08:00

Y Must I change? Y must i succeed? Did it so many times as a coach and this time round i am the participant. Scared but really want to go through it. And i did. Jeff and Me were partners and we really pushed each other to the limits. I just broke down totally after that. Really glad that all those friends are around. Kalai, Danny, Jeff, Melvin, Woei Tang. The sight of them just made me realise that i cannot fail. I am glad i have gone thru POE. Just this segment as a participant is worth the money already. Today i have learnt many skills and rediscovered myself.

To Cheryl: Hey sis!!! You know hor!!! when u msg me , i was just about to get started in that segment. Perhaps is fate ba. Ur msg just come at the most accurate time. Our Brainwaves connect? :) When i am going through the segment, i was thinking about you cos you remind me of the hero and gave me the encouragement when i was super down. This will be in my mind all my life. I said i will not let you all down. :)

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-02-24T02:02:00.000+08:00

Had been sick the last few days...cold and flu with serious sore throat. Managed to get some rest before Patterns of Excellence starts today.

Lets talk about today first. Met up with Qiuxia today for tea break. Her treat...heeeheee.. I think got 3 months neber see her liao. Very happy to meet up with such a true friend. I know she is super happy to meet up with me too. heehee....it is just a special feeling. This is a friend that was with me when i was at the lowest point of my life. She is not just a friend but like a sister to me liao. We talk about what we are currently doing and i am glad that she is doing well. Before i left the MRT, we spoke about my "past" and the last few sentences made me think. Maybe she is right. Perhaps if i did strike "jackpot" that time, i might not be as happy and focus as i am now. I might be spending too much time on other things. I might not be so determined about my goal. Like AK always say. Everything happens for a reason. Perhaps that was the reason why i did not hit "jackpot" then. When i say i didnt care now, do i really mean it fully? or am i just acting? I am not sure. All i know is that if that someone needs me as a friend, i will live up to my promise and be there.

Today is the first day of Patterns of Excellence module 1 and i am a participant. I guess being a coach and being a participant is so much different. I finally get to feel how a participant will feel while he/she is sitting there listening to lectures. As a participant i kind of get to feel how a participant feel when the coach speaks during small group break out. This makes me want to be more aware of myself. I want to get the best out of this programme....dearies out there.. SUPPORT ME BA!!!!

I have grown so much in the last few months. There have been so many ppl supporting me. Sisters!!! Jiayou!! Cos i remember every word u all said to me to keep me going. Jiayou. !!
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-02-19T10:32:00.000+08:00

Noticed that i dont blog that often these few days liao. Is that an indication of a shift in my lifestyle? Perhaps . The week has been relatively good. Whole week neber go office work. Monday to Weds was in Fuchun Sec doing IAG. Thurs to Fri went for ropes course in Coasta Sands.

Fuchun Sec maybe could be the highlight of my musicman life....hahaha.....the principal actually praised me in front of the parents during the closing ceremony. heehee... Then amin also in front of the parents thank and praise me. Bwahahahaha...am i good or wat? hiak hiak hiak !!!

The ropes course was interesting however it is not what i expected. I expected to do more technical skills and advance skills in ropes management but the course is more for instructor level familiarisation. No Certification some more. I wont say it is a total waste of time as i got to all the high elements in Coasta Sands Resort and did the flying fox 3 times.

Went Geylang for supper with jones and chuan lay last nite and was kind of reflective of the good life i am having. At least i am not going hungry because of no food nor money. Saw an old lady going around begging for some spare change. Really pity that lady that at this age she still need to come out to beg. I gave her 10 bucks. I sat there wondering what kind of life the lady is living, her lifestory....etc. I also wondered wat if my mum was the one coming out to beg, how would i want other people to treat her siah....dowan such a situation to happen.

I LOVE THE GOVERNMENT.....cos they are giving me MONEY again!!! Election coming loh!!! hahaha.....
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-02-05T20:32:00.000+08:00

Tpss reunion is great. The whole PKL was there!!! but i lost 50 bucks on mahjong...okie lah...once a year...

Spent the most this new year liao ....finally i bought something for myself in a super long time.

1 x 80 GB hard disk @ $188
1 x G2000 Shirt @ $54
1 x G-short watch @ $199
1 x Louis Jean watch @$48

Woah..cant believe tat i bought all those things in one day. Felt RICH!!!!! haha...but i guess it will be a long time before i spend tat much money again.

After spending so much ...it is time to earn all of it back liao. Started work on Thursday...came office and work work work...while we have fun fun fun too.

Shall not blog on the vomit blood workshop...keep cool....yeah!!!

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

Woah...my room is clean again after 4 months of mess. Spent my New Year visiting Temples ...and get myself scalded by the incense ashes and my eyes smoked. This is the time of the year i hate most. Visiting Temples. I just hate all the smoke during Chinese New Year. I dont mind visiting during normal days but New Year is disastrous. BUT ...suck thumb ...it is my family's annual even...kana forced also must go.

On the expressway back from the temple, just saw something unfortunate. The expressway was heavily jammed because an accident took place. Apparently a man was knocked down on the expressway and died. I saw the ,an being covered in white cloth. Life is so fragile that first day of Chinese New Year and a life was lost this way. My condolences to the family.

I wonder if the topic will arise when u reach the age. This whole CNY , everyone is asking me to go get a girlfriend. First it was my cousin, then it was my aunt, then it was my participants who even gave me tips. Wah liao ...pressure liao siah.

Went around TM to see if i could get some new apparels ...No luck...almost all the shops are closed. Went to see if i could catch a show. No Luck...Sold OUt....bobian...got to do wat i have been wanting to do in the last few days.....KFC ...hehehe.....damn full.....after that went Jone's hse to play mahjong....and .....BEER......heehee...so i got my KFC+ Beer in a day...yeah...But it came with a price ...lost 8 bucks in mahjong. Supposed to lsoe 39 bucks in the first round....heng won back and just lost 8.

Tomolo is tpss reunion at Jones's house...i wonder who is going tomolo? Got chio bu boh? hehe

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

East View Sec 5N camp has ended....good ending. Hope they will move on from now on. Seriously feel that i am more suited to be in camps than doing those outside camp stuff. This camp is quite interesting. The students actually find me more friendly than the trainers. I guess is because the trainers are all very tired already after being so busy. Jiayou Jiayou Jiayou

Chinese New Year is tomorrow. I wonder how the new year is going to be? I guess my New Year will be spent slacking again since i will not be visiting relatives. Have been thinking of doing something special. I am not sure what it is but in my heart i know that there is a calling out there for me. Have been thinking about the days where i went cambodia with project sangkhim to help some people. Missed the gang. I am thinking along the lines of going back to cambodia to do something special again .

..............
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-24T15:07:00.000+08:00

Sitting here in the boring room.....falling asleep in the afternoon....

Now really sitting in East View Sec doing the iag ...the students were very nice. But i am falling asleep soon. Argh...after lunch just felt like sleeping. Quite long neber do school musicman liao...kind of weird...but SONG!!! Haha...perhaps my beliefs is really that i ove working with students.

Went Orchard walk walk last nite. Jeff bought a new phone and gary bought a new shirt. I want to get myself a new hp and some clothes for new year. Cant find any shirt that i like. As with Hp....i cant bear to spend that amount of money on a phone even though i want to change a phone. After working so hard and getting the hard earned money....really cannot bear to spend it on a phone...haha...wat an irony...work so hard to get the money so that i can spend but when i got the money , i rather save it. Ended up running around Toy 's' Rus looking for an jumbo size water gun.....

Things are not moving very well but i shall not let it put me down. To think on the bright side, i am actually given the chance to determine my own fate. Not that bad after all. To think about it, i am treated quite well and earning enough monthly for the moment as long as i work hard. What else can i complain? I can only use whatever unhappiness and challenges to push me to work even harder. I started learning about the HERO in a school programme...now i am in the school programme again. Perhaps i will be able to reinforce this HERO's power!!!

Just feel happy in working with students...heehee

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

Finally a short weekend break. Blogging tonite after many sleepless nites. First camp for PRSS...didnt start off on a good note but the energy level of the camp was damn high and it hit the top during the camp fire. I think i have strectched in the last few weeks.

St Anthony's Canossian Sec 1 camp ended today. This camp is quite interesting. I actually managed to make myself the star of the camp in front of those little gers...hahaha...the teacher in charge also very farnie. He started mimicking our way of building rapport with the gers and he also quite onz at some times. Felt a sense of achievement in this camp when i received so many notes from the gers saying that i am very funny and i make them laugh throughout the camp. Never thought that i can make people laugh for so long but i managed to do it this time round. Many more things happened in the camp that made me feel appreciated but i shall not say everything out. Haha....

To cheryl: Yo sister...Solli couldn't reply ur sms-es. Was bz in camp when u msg....Jiayou Jiayou for your DnT project. My hp is kana sai one...very difficult to even type out a msg. hehe...Wah liao ..u see other ppl hanky panky u jealous ar? Go find "someone" lor...bwahahahaha

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-07T18:40:00.000+08:00

Tired ...just damn tired. Just finished doing the PRSS camp blooklet this morning at 4.30 am and reached home oni at 5.30 am. and suppose to wake up at 7 plus to go PRSS leaders training. Then got to meet another teacher of another school for meeting. Finally reached home at 6.30pm. Gonna rest for a few hours before starting to do my work again. Yippe.

Was blogging halfway in office last nite but stopped cos i really donno if i shd blog. I wanted to blog about unhappiness and stress again. Decided not to blog it and concentrated on my work. Like wat sis said, i can endure through it one.

To Cheryl: U alrite anot? U sounded love sick wor. I know u are a wise ger and u know how to handle it one. What i need to say in the past i say before liao. Just wana tell u tat u are worth ppl chasing , ppl who dont appreciate u is their lost. You are brave that you took the first step. The rest is up to the other party liao. You are not stupid at all!! You know wat is important to u know and u do know that Choices do have consequences if you decide to step in now. BUT i will always be behind you. Thanks sister. ur words will always be kept in my mind to tide over this period. Yup, i am aware that you are still not motivated after the course cos i have been following your progress, even by checking with rossana hows things for you at home. To speak the truth, was kind of disappointed in you when i heard about you having problems with bf and family, especially when u chose to not tell me ur full results before the Nov camps but i just go accept it lor. Perhaps i shouldn't expect anything from you in these terms. I know tat it was after coaching that you "woke up" cos like wat i told rossie and the people who were not very satisfied with ur performance, you did improve alot in terms of everythin. Even during Sept IAG u still have issues rite? But i know that you are doing your best already. Nobody is perfect, the course is powerful but it cannot change anyone overnite and I will support you one. No Fear!!! Jiayou
Still want to really appreciate you for those words u told me. It really reminded me of alot of things. You are also a great coach and especially a sweet sister !!!
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

Nearly cried when sister msg me just now to give me encouraging words. The rest of the guys were in office so i just held back. Thanks a million, sister. I am just holding on. Like you said, i have been teaching ppl all those things and i can do it one. Listen to the hero...ya...i will. The reason why i am still holding on is becos of the hero and becos i want to practice wat i preach. I wish i can have a break and recover before moving on. Sad to say, i dont have the oppurtunity now unless i quit it completely. Deadlines are near. I just have to endure and pull thru it.

Went site recce and meeting with a teacher from another school today. The programme has been finalised. Another proud day of convincing teachers to take up the recommendations.

Sis...really glad that u have grown up already. Have been afraid for you since the day you started confiding in me ur problems and also from those things i have heard from other people. I still remembered tat one of the first message u sent me was about you scored well for your test but mummy feels that it is not good enough and dont let you watch tv....it has been some time since that first few msgs. Sometimes i really wonder if i shd be so direct with you with the things i said and wrote since the first day i know you. Some of the things are wat i will normally not tell a girl in such a direct way lor. I dont even have the right to tell you off. Sometimes i am really afraid that you will be angry with me for being so naggy but i took a risk. I know that sometime u find me very irritating very disturbing u and nagging at you, rite? sorry if i make u feel tat way. And very appreciate it when u love and cared for me . It made me feel much better already. Really feel like giving u a long warm hug now to thank you for everything. Thanks a million , sister!! give u virtual huggie and muackzzz...can u feel it? hahahaha

Really happy when i read your bloggie. You know your priorities. Mummy praise you ar? cos u good ger mah! Not sure wat is it but really glad that the last 6 months changed you and i am sure this is a very eventful 6 months for you. Who's the mystery man ? neber tell me...wah liao!! Anyway ...you are beautiful and nice tats y ppl ask you "tat" question mah..if a guy ask u...maybe he is interested in u wor....hahahah.....u might be the mystery woman of other ppl ....when it comes , it comes...take it easy.

Think i shd go sleep now..tomolo wake up to work early.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2006-01-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

i cant say pissed or wat but i am just damn tired already. The whole day was packed with meetings and selling and meetings. Was kind of proud of myself when i managed to make the teachers in a certain school accept my recommendations in their upcoming camp. On the other hand last minute scheduling others really made my life even tougher. The next 3 weeks will be even worse. If this goes on , i am not sure when will i collapse.

Having a damn bad headache now on top of the bad cough tat has been around since christmas. Really donno when will i burst. Was wondering to myself on the cab just now. Why am i working so hard? Do i really want this job tat much ? Is it worth? Really had the thought of giving up just now on the cab and perhaps tell my mentor that i quit. But on the other hand, i know that i am not someone who quits like tat. Especially after so many ppl are supporting me in watever ways they can.

Was conversing with my 2 sisters thru sms this morning and their replies showed me tat they are working hard for their O levels. Yunxuan replied in the evening saying she will jiayou one....Cheryl has been encouragaing too. When i reached home, i was just dead tired that i sat on the foldable chair and just surfed. However i decided to pop by cheryl's blog and saw even more things just tell me tat i cannot give up. I saw the desire to succeed. I saw the happiness. I saw the resolve. I saw a changed person for the better. I am happy for her. The more i looked at the blog, the more i cannot give up, especially when my 2 sisters are working so hard towards their goals.

I guessed i am just tired after sleeping only 1/2 hr last nite. Shall go and sleep liao ...

2005-12-26T21:46:00.000+08:00

Boxing day = Open up the christmas present boxes....not throwing punches. After living for 24 years , finally i know what boxing day is already.

Met paul, evelyn and jianhui for lunch today . Yeah!!It was during commencement that i last saw them. We went to YOU TIAO DA WANG for lunch. I didnt eat the YOU TIAO though. Went for a fur cut, i mean hair cut after tat and dropped by office to do my claims. I thought there will be nobody in the office on Boxing Day but i was wrong. There were quite a few people in the office working. Tats working life i supposed.

Dropped off some stuff and when i reached my table, i was surprised to see so many christmas gifts and cards. There is even one from adam himself. This christmas is not so boring after all.

I am still wondering today. Who would remember me when i die? I have met so many ppl in the last 2 years and especially in the last 6 months. Many have told me that i have touched their lives. Many thanked me for helping them change. I wonder if any will remember me the day i leave this world?

Everyone work, everyone wants a good reputation. Some can afford for their reputation to take a plunge and climb back easily. Some cannot. Some people have a more costly reputation , some have cheaper ones. How much is mine worth? If i am to take an office job or store job where i dont meet alot of people, is my reputation cheaper? If i am working with alot of people, is my reputation dearer?

Was wondering on this issue. Every job can accept mistakes. Some more than others. As a trainer, i can make mistakes too but the type of mistakes i make will have determine theiimpact. Some mistakes trainers in our line can never afford to make. Once we make that mistake , our reputation is gone. Reason is simple. We work with alot of people. These people respected us. These people trusted us. One wrong move and that is it. Many people see that we are glamourous but they do not see the high expectation we set for ourselves.

I love these few days of holidays. I get to stay at home and enjoy mum's cooking. Yeah!!!
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-12-24T11:40:00.000+08:00

Silent night, lonely nite....today is christmas eve.

Finally finished coaching this season. 5 camps....this is indeed a very fufilling season. There are highs and lows in this season. Coaching and being a PD can be so much difference. BUT as a PD, it doesnt mean that i cannot do my part in helping the participants. I found out in this season tat as a PD, as long as i take action to go and interact with the participants, i can make a difference in their life too.

2 nites ago , we ended the last camp for the season....IAG malaysia. I've received appreciation letters from many participants. Some who i did not remember. It does feel good to receive all these letters as it showed me that as a PD, i am not the odd one out in a camp. During the closing ceremony, i sat there quietly and ponder over this. I have coached so many camps since the start of my coaching career. I really wonder that the day i die, how many of these participants would remember me. Now they may appreciate me but what about the day i die. How many will come to my wake? When my face appear on the obituary, who would recognise this person? Life and death is just a step apart, what makes the difference is what we do in this step.

Hohoho....merry christmas?

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-12-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

Interesting ...so so interesting....Coaching always give me something special. IAG 2 and IAG3 is really special. IAG 2 made me see what is really call fighting spirit. IAG 3 showed me that it is the heart that bonds people together. I always find coaching IAG more satisfying cos they do understand what you are talking about. Sometimes i do feel that i have not done enough for them because i do not have the resources and i feel bad about it. On the other hand, we cannot save the world. Did my best. Wish you all the best.

I was pulled out of IAG advance. In replacement , i will be the program director of malaysia IAG which will start tomolo. Kind of exciting. I will going malaysia this season after all. Haha...come to think about it , i feel like a LEAD PD....usually lead trainer will start the program and do the closing....this season i was the PD for the first camp and last camp....so LEAD PD lor...wahahaha

Now feeling very hungry liao ...dinner time

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-11-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

Life will never be the same again. Spent the last 10 days being the Programme Director and Assistant Programme Director for Super Kids Camp 1 and 2.

Superkids camp 1 was very encouraging. It is one camp where i had fun from the first day to the last day. Even though i am quite sick through the camp, it was worth enduring through it. When it came to Superkids camp 2, i was kind of burnt out by day 3. Fell really sick on the 4th day. Glad i managed to bounce back on the last and most important day.

These camps really gave me oppurtunities to develop myself as a trainer. I enjoyed the times where i get to speak to the camp during the introduction and ice breakers.

I am really happy tat i have made the choice to stay in Singapore to do these 2 camps. I managed to attend celine's wedding and yet managed to do the camps. My heart took over my head and i am real glad i have made that decision.

Finally have a rest after working for so many days already. Feel shiok rest at home. Tomolo work again.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-11-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

The music came on .....The gentleman walks down the aisle....The Attention is on the gentleman...Everyone awaits the gentleman to speak.

Shiok ...damn shiok. Had this experience in Damai Sec Camp. I was taking the camp i/c cum trainer in the outdoor segment. The feeling of walking down the aisle and grabbing the attention is damn shiok. The camp is very good too. Learnt alot of things from the students and gary too.

It has been almost a week i have not seen mum and dad. Have been busy working in camps and in office that even if i ever go home, they would have slept. Feel kind of bad that things have to work out this way. Work deprived me of famiy. Hiaz...have to do something to stop this.

Tomolo got to do the SuperKids public camp briefing and the camp will start the day after. This is going to be the first camp of the nov/dec season and i am kicking it off. Kind of exciting. Yeah...

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-11-13T02:41:00.000+08:00

Haha....max thought i went for a make over , janne say i look different, celin and kaisiang was stunned when they saw me. The comments were rather encouraging....looks like i am on the right route.

It feels good slacking one day without thinking about work. SONG BO!!!

Tomolo is coach training revision cum test.....heng i no need to take the test. hahahaha
still remember the first time i took the test 6 months ago....i think i failed it.

Celin's getting married this coming weekend ....YuNeng Primary 70th aniversary next friday....Damai Sec Camp on monday ....SK starts on saturday .....looks like i only have thursday and friday free liao....Nooooo...still got to do marketing....argh....

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-11-12T02:29:00.000+08:00

I shall keep my butt out of things that i got no say in. Let the ppl who can say something do what they are supposed to do. No point getting myself agitated over things i cannot control. Sometimes i am just too easily perturbed by stuff. I shall just say OK OK OK OK OK ....not going to give comments to unimportant stuff liao. Do not understand what is risk taking without taking risks. What is the our culture? Do we make things happen or wait for things to happen? If we do not dare to take such perceived risks, i cannot see how we can progress.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-11-11T11:55:00.000+08:00

Many days have passed and many things have happened.

First was Crescent Girls School Atheletics Leaders Camp. It was quite a demoralising camp to me according to my own standards. I did not teach any cheer in the camp untill the camp fire. I did not do alot of Ra-Ra in the camp. I did only what i am supposed to do. It was fun though, going orienteering, mud adventure, rafting and kayaking with the girls and these girls are crazy one....they can really run. Now i believe that Response Reflects Leadership liao. I nuah...then my group also nuah. I on the group also on. I think i need to build up my rapport building skills with students from all girls school. I can build rapport with the neighbourhood school students very easily but when it comes to an all gers school camp, i have encountered many obstacles.

Then it was the XingHua Pri 6 1 day programme. This is the highlight of what we have been doing for the past few weeks. Finally the first programme for the company has kicked off. The start was abit chaotic....but things got very much better as the day goes on. I kind of enjoyed the 3 sessions i get to train the kids in the games segment. I was conscious of my actions and i can change my strategy on the spot in repond to the students' reponses. I felt confident. I can crap with the kids. I had so much fun on the stage. The feeling of being a trainer is so much different from being an instructor. As an instructor, i didnt really care about how each participant feels and respond to it. As a trainer, i really have to observe and react even when i am presenting. A greater sense of achievement.

Went Zouk the day before with the gary and gang. It was fun. the music was good. Best part was that there was this old uncle whose hair is already while went on to the platform to dance. He was wearing black and white suite and gloves. Then he attempted to solicit the CHIO BUS on the platform to dance with him. In the end he really got gers to dance with him. POWER.....really POKER CHIP THEORY at work. Bloody damn high self esteem.

Very long neber do school programme already. Kind of missed life as a musicman....hahahaha
cant wait for IAG and SK season to start soon.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-30T02:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i do wonder why would i have to bother myself with politics. I have studied about politics and yet i do not want to get myself involved in it. As far as i am concern, i shall concentrate on what i am supposed to do now while keep on improving myself . Read more , do more. Shall not get pulled into the unnecessary issues. I will not override those i shd not be, given my position. I will not allow others to interfere with want i am doing. I am not afraid of to meet the worst case scenario. In fact i am ready to face it. I began my work with a specific outcome in mind. I joined a place with a specific outcome in mind. Nobody can take that away from me. I decide my own future and i build my own future. There is a need to do another goal alignment with the people i am working with. Maybe i should talk to the head honcho.

Perhaps many may doubt me but i do not doubt my abilities. A friend and mentor said this to me: " The only person u can trust is yourself, if you do not trust yourself, you can trust nobody". Indeed. I think it shd be the first person instead of the only. I must trust my own ability. When i say "we shall see , we shall see" , it also meant that i am not going to give in now...i will fight till the last second. It is absolute bullshit if i am going to give so much respect to a person/opponent just becos he has a slight advantage over me at the moment. I am a trainer and i shall live like a trainer , a fighter, a special breed who dares to take on challenges.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-22T20:41:00.000+08:00

Kayaking coaching level 1 course is so informative. The trainer, Mr John Handyside, is good. The way he delivered his lessons are so easy and interesting to absorb. I have learnt something new about delivering lessons. Will be using it soon.

Life has been so different already. Working everyday. Looking for my own oppurtunities to train. Have i gave my 100% already? I seem to be indecisive on my decisions in so many things.

Love ....wat is this thing that made so many people feel pain? Love for who? What kind of love i wonder? Love shoud be something that is blissful , happy and a boon. Now it has become a bond. Have i been in one before? Perhaps i can consider that i did. I understand the bliss and the pain. It took alot to wake up from that dream. It has been painful. It only makes me stronger. I just hope it will make those around me stronger too.

Hmm...i wonder if i do have the easily bullied look. Today was at the kayaking coaching course and this ger i know there say i look more like those who will be buillied. She is not the first to say that already . I feel that perhaps i do have the kind of looks which appeal to kids....so that they will bully me...argh

anyway...looking forward to tomolo's course.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

felt like a kid again. I received my new email today. Started meddling with the email and i found out that i cannot change the font nor the colour of the characters i am typing. booooriingggg...
I can now put my appointment as an asst trainer liao. Shiok. It is the identity. How do i see myself. Now i finally see myself as an assistant trainer already.

Reflecting back on how i came into this company and my original intention. Life is so unpredictable yet someone or something might have decided for us long ago already. Still remember the first time i came to the company, I thought i was coming for an outdoor company...attending their instructor training. Even after the training and a few camps, i have never thought of being an assistant trainer or full time staff with the company. I only wanted to be a coach and help people. As i progressed further, the program woke me up. Made me work towards my goal and fought for my goal. Now i am here. Still far from a trainer but i have such a huge progress. Complacency is the number 1 killer of Success. I shall not fall into this trap.

My goal is still the same. Or should i say my goal has changed for something even more ambitious than what i had originally set. I see bigger challenges ahead. I must overcome them. The key is to stay FOCUS. I lead by example, I walk my talk. So to all the brothers and sisters out there. Rest assured that i will do watever i taught you people cos i will show you that it can be done.

I am out of the Malaysian camps already. Celin called me a couple of days ago to inform me of her wedding which will be held on the day i am slated to be in malaysia. I was caught in a dilemma. On one hand, i need to be responsible since i had already promised to go up to malaysia. In addition, i would need the camp to sustain. On the other hand, this is a buddy i had known since primary school. A buddy of 15 years. After days of delibration with my inner self, i found no reasons to convince myself that i will go malaysia. I have decided to stay. I am glad i made this decision. I know that this is the right decision cos it is the heart tat makes me a person. A camp i can always go next time. A buddy is hard to find....especially such a good one.

Bz with work ....excited with the future too.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

I am so proud of myself....i have finished reading MYM and IAG in 9 days....now starting to mindmap them liao. Tested out my speed reading today. Read 6 chapters of IAG in around 15 minutes...feels damn shiok...though i already got a rough idea what the chapters are about...still feels good. My speed also increased about 500 words since the last time i practised.

Today there was coach training. Seeing some of the trainers train up there makes me want to prove to myself even more. I must do it fast. I will be up there training too.

went to an outdoor camp last nite to visit and support my friends. Was quite disappointed at some stuff however it is a good effort by them to put up a commendable show with their resources. Jiayou guys.

So happy today tat my "god-sister" msged me today. So long neber hear from her liao. I am glad that i still meant a thing to her....hahahahaha......This is one sister that i see the least yet she is one of those i missed most. Perhaps becos long since we last me. Will never forget how she supported me when i required really last minute help. She was there at a call. So many things have happened since we last met. I wonder how is she doing now. Good luck for your exams.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-09T11:18:00.000+08:00

I feel like i am back to my university life now. Used to be readings and readings and readings. Now is not just readings but books and books and books, Audios and audios and audios, videos and videos and videos, practice and practice and practice. The only difference was that i was reading for the sake of reading, not sure wat am i reading for. Now i have a clear objective in front of me. The feeling is so different. It is so enjoyable reading now. Having the new knowledge coming in makes me feel so powerful.

I've pulled out of cynovate camp. Hard decision but my heart now is not in the camps. I've made the decision to stay out of the camp to concentrate on my readings and these 3 days i am going to do some presentation practice on top of the readings.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-10-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

I am in...i am now a trainee trainer with the company liao. The route ahead is even tougher as the man himself told us about his expectation and gave us tips on how we can proceed further. It is going to be extremely challenging.

Just had 2 days of PD training and 2 days of coach training. Saw many of my ex-participants coming back and be assistant coach. Yippee. Also received a friendster testiomonial from one of the star player in my sept iag. Someone that gave me loads of headache. He appreciated me for wat i have done and it seems like my strategy worked. hahaha

coaching adults and coaching children are two seperate issues....finally experience it in the last 2 days...

back to study liao
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-09-24T01:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder why am i still hanging around like a leech? I know some people are doing their best to support me and helping me. I know i have a goal in front of me which i am moving towards. I know that i am closer to this goal every day i wake up. Yet i hate to be treated like someone who needs pity. I may not be good but i am not bad either. I do not take advantage of people and i hate people that is thinking of taking advantage of me just because they know what i want. Call me desperate...perhaps i am but i have my pride. Sometimes i just think of giving it all up. Might as well go somewhere else. If you are thinking of taking advantage of me at this point, i dont not know how you will treat me in the future. I may be just another of your pawn which you are willing to sacrifice in the future. How can i trust you? If you are treating me this way, i find no reason to fight for you when you leave me alone to survive out there.

Is this another obstacle that i must go through? Must i go through this to be SUCCESSFUL? Indeed it is easier said than done. I am lucky all my brudders are there for me. I have comrades in arms. I cannot let these people down. I can not let myself down too.

Everytime i feel down after got knocked down, i would think of the particiapnts that i have coached. There are some of the special ones that supported me all the way and took me as their role model. I really want to do this for them too. I saw how some of them are working so hard for their exams.

just wana stop blogging for today ...no mood to write anymore

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-09-18T18:25:00.000+08:00

Trainers' audition round 2.....i was very tense again. However it is much better than round 1 already . While i was loitering around akltg, a group surprised me. The iag participants came back. Cassandra, Cassidy, Sophia, Nathalie, Lokman, Helmi and Keriann (SK participant) came back and visited us....of course new scandals popped up...heehee

Spent Friday nite at Yishun Town Sec....quite interesting cos i am not even involved in the program at all...i was there to sell books and yet i was able to talk cock and joke with the participants. Some even came and asked me for advice on their studies and stuff...haha...

Then i went back to akltg office and spent the nite there with the gang, talking cock and work. All the way untill 7 am + ...and i found out that amin's chair is not conducive for sleeping. argh...

Today is the 18th already and i am still waiting for my pay....argh....3 outdoor pay cheques have been delayed....akltg better not delay too....

One of my former participant in the june iag msg me and told me tat i am her IDOL cos i helped her find her goal and improve in her studies....she say she support me in my own trainers' audition. It was her that made me take the first step in becoming a trainer. I have to thank her instead of her thanking me lor. It always feel so good when former participants come back and tell you about their progress. However everytime i hear from former participants about the negative things they are thinking about themselves, i feel bad too. Some would have issues with family, some with bgr problems, some with studies. I just heard that one of my best and most hardworking participant is now having problems with school work and i cannot do much to help her now...feel damn bad. The only thing i can do now is to ask someone to pass her a msg of encouragement. Like i always tell my participants, after the program, i cannot be around them all the time liao, they might not even see me after that. It all depends on themselves already. hiaz

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-09-12T19:56:00.000+08:00

10 tough days have passed. First it was the trainers' audition. I was damn tense however i still managed to get through. From there i saw how good the other presenters were and so many ways of presentation. Learnt alot.

The next 9 days i had to be the assistant program director of the Superkids program. It is the first time i am doing SK and be the APD for it. Furthermore i have to be the coach for a group too. It was damn tiring. Running from place to place. In addition still have to deal with internal problems. However it feels so fun doing this. The kids were all so lively.

Straightafter the Superkids program , i coached for the IAG too. By the time i started this coaching , i was already too tired liao. In addition , i got a grp with the biggest 2 superstars in the camp. There was this guy who just hid himself behind a damn thick wall and refuses to open up. The other was just too tempremental and playful and refuses to accept feedback. Hiaz.

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-08-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

I am sick , I am scared, I am excited.

Woke up today having flu again ...i hate that feeling.

Just know that the trainers' audition for me is going to start on thursday. I feel so excited. Suddenly felt that i am going back to my study days again. I know that this is the time that i can use my skills learnt along the years of my studies. Impromptu speeches is a challenge. I will take it head on. I am running the pictures in my head now. I am seeing myself standing in front of the judges already. I am seeing myself there. I know i can do it. Be myself. YES...just be myself. My concern is the timing. Cannot overshoot nor use too little time. Must read up more these few days already.

It is now or never. If i fail to make it pass the first round....that is going to be so sad ...NO ...i cannot think of that.
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-08-24T14:08:00.000+08:00

Was in malaysia for IAG camp the last 5 days. It was a special experience too. A bunch of Singaporeans going over to malaysia and work with our counterparts with the objective of helping local students. GOOD FOOD, GOOD SLEEP ( err...abit ambiguos cos the program ends at 5am on 1 day and on others between 1-2am ). I think i grew fatter already. haha

Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-08-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

simply no mood to do outdoor camps now leh...donno why. The last outdoor camp tat just ended was a camp for the geylang serai vocational training centre. Students of this centre are usually drop outs from the main stream schools or students under legal probation. First time i do a camp where i see so many ANG KONG on students body. All sort of pattern also have. Sometimes i really pity these student being stereotyped as trouble makers. The last 2 days showed me that these students are actually quite nice ppl. They are just hyperactive. Hey!! They know how to respect ppl lor...much better than the main stream students.

Yesterday was in sentosa with the VTC students and one incident shocked me. As there were some free time , i allowed the kids to go on the tram ride on siloso beach cos these kids seldom get the chance to go out and play due to their probation and stuff. BUT when i heard the tram driver calling the kids " You all are from Gangster School, sit down"...i was just speechless. Come on....wtf is gangster school siah.....furthermore from someone who is working in a tourist attraction . At this moment , i am really thinking of writing a complain letter to the sentosa management siah

Tomolo is coach training liao . looking forward to it. yeah!!!!
Never Believe in Never cos you Never Know

2005-08-10T21:17:00.001+08:00

sibei act cute...i mean jeff

2005-08-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

yandaos

2005-08-10T21:16:00.001+08:00

stuart @ work

2005-08-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

danny and donovan kana stripped

2005-08-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

twins

2005-08-10T21:14:00.001+08:00

coaches

2005-08-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

participants

2005-08-10T21:13:00.001+08:00

darth vs kkubird

2005-08-10T21:13:00.000+08:00

course participants

2005-08-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

sexy coaches at akltg

2005-08-10T21:10:00.000+08:00

I am Gifte SO ARE YOU!!.....me and my participants....

2005-08-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

me and little teddy :)

2005-08-10T21:08:00.001+08:00

geraldine